i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
