I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
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Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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