The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
