i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
