Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
