Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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