I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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