So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
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i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
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im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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