garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
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