the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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