i used baking grease as lip gloss
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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