At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
