My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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