I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
