so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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