Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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