Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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