i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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