OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
