I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
