He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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