Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
