we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
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Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
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It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize