I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
