we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize