I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
