the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize