I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
