well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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