she woke up with a sticky ear
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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