I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Who died my cat blue again?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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