And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
