Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
