I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
third nipple confirmed
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
