a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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