you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
