yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
