dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Randomize
