Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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