Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
