in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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