Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
There r osticjed everywhere
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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