This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
