dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
