You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You took a bar mat shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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