if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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