Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize