Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
