Do you still have your period?
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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