in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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