And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
My ass is underappreciated
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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