Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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