Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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