It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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