I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize