how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
