Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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