the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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