your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
