oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
