you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
