Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
