i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's blow job season.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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