Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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