I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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